The Plan
by fezwearingjellybananas
Summary: After the events of Iron Man 2, Pepper Potts and Natasha Romanoff stayed in touch. And when Natasha admitted something, Pepper decided to do something about it.


"So, you're not actually Natalie Rushman?"

"No."

"What is your name then? Or am I not allowed to know?"

"It can't hurt I suppose. It's Natasha Romanoff."

"Natasha. I'm Pepper Potts."

"I know."

"I just thought it would be nice to start over. You've got my number."

"You want to keep in touch?"

"Yes. I'd like to get to know the real Natasha Romanoff."

"There's probably rules against it."

"I kept in touch with Agent Coulson."

"You are a strange person Pepper Potts."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should."

* * *

A few months past. Natasha kept in touch at Pepper's request. They talked quite a lot.

Natasha hung up the phone just as there was a knock at the door. Clint walked in, carrying a box of something.

"Afternoon Nat. You talking to Pepper Potts again?"

"So what if I am?"

"Tony Stark know his girlfriend's kept in touch with you?"

"Don't know. Does it matter?"

"Not really. What do you fancy for lunch? I'm thinking omelettes."

"Sounds good."

"Same as usual?"

"You remember? You don't even remember how Coulson takes his coffee and you've known him far longer."

"Cheddar cheese, black pepper, sliced tomato and a pinch of chives. Who's got the bad memory now? How does Coulson have his coffee?"

"White, no sugar."

"See, I did know that, I was just testing you."

"Clearly Clint. These omelettes."

"Ten minutes. Make some toast for me? But try not to damage my kitchen."

"Your kitchen? Clint, this is my house. I live here. It's my kitchen."

"Except it's mine, so go and make toast."

* * *

"I don't know Pepper. He's just Clint."

"Oh. Just Clint. That it?"

"Yeah."

"What colour are his eyes?"

"Green. So? Loads of people know each other's eye colour. I can tell you yours are blue. It's my job to remember things like that."

"He remembered what you like in an omelette."

"So?"

"You like him."

"Fine, all right, maybe I do. But love is for children."

"You don't believe that Natasha."

"Yes I do."

"Then act like a child."

"I'm an adult."

"What's the point in being a grown up if you can't act childish sometimes?"

"Did you just quote Doctor Who at me?"

"So, how are you going to talk to him about it?"

"Er, I'm not."

"Fine."

* * *

"Hi Phil."

"Pepper. Didn't expect to be hearing from you so soon. Tony hasn't broken anything else has he?"

"No, it's about your Natasha."

"What about her? She didn't break anything did she? Did she break Tony?"

"No. You know her partner, don't you?"

"Clint Barton, yeah. She finally admitted it?"

"As close as it gets."

"Fantastic. Her and Clint are on the same page. So, what's the plan?"

"We could send them on a date."

"You think that would work?"

"What's the alternative?"

"Send them undercover as a couple and keep them there until they realise that hardly any of its acting. Your idea sounds safer. Let's do that."

"So, how do we do that?"

"Tricky one. You invite Natasha out for a meal with you, somewhere out of the way. I'll tell Clint to get a suit on, that we have a mission at a restaurant or something because there's no way he would ever willingly walk into somewhere nice."

"And then we leave them to talk to each other. That could work. Unless they just got up and left."

"They might. Although, if we stick it on SHIELD's check book they wouldn't. Clint lives by the philosophy that you should never turn down free food unless you're allergic to it in which case always turn down free food."

"Would you get in trouble for that? Because I doubt Tony would notice if you stuck it under Stark Industries name. You'd get a good booking too."

"Damn, that's Clint. I'll call you back Pepper."

"Might be easier to talk in person. Coffee?"

"Coffee."

Coulson hung up just as Clint walked in.

"That wasn't Fury was it? Whatever it was, I didn't do it."

"No, that was Pepper Potts."

"Man, I need to meet this woman. She's got you and Nat on the phone having social lives. You. With a life."

"Thanks Barton."

"Aww, you know I love you really Phil."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"You walked in and asked if it was Fury. That usually means you've done something."

"I haven't done anything."

"I'll find out later then. So, you talked to Romanoff yet?"

"I'm still breathing. Which would imply no."

"You need to talk to her."

"Oh, you know her 'love is for children' line."

"You are a child."

"I am not."

"You act like one."

"I don't act like a child, I just sometimes have a lack of maturity. There is a difference."

"If you say so. You need to talk to her."

"When I have a death wish, I'll tell her."

"Don't you have a job you should be doing?"

"Only paperwork."

"So that's what you haven't done."

"Er, paperwork, yeah."

"Go and finish it, or you'll end up scientist guarding again."

"Fine."

* * *

"So. Pepper. How've you been?"

"Fine. And you?"

"Fine. This plan."

"I've booked a two person table for two weeks, alongside a second one next to the door so we can stop them leaving I didn't know if you wanted to bring your cellist or not."

"Oh, she might like that actually."

"If you get there first with Clint that could work. Then he won't question why there's only two chairs."

"But Natasha might. Especially if Clint's sitting in one of them."

"Then you 'accidently' run into your cellist and I get a phone call from Tony and they both think we're bailing on them."

"And if that still doesn't work."

"We lock them in a room until they admit it."

"Sounds like a good plan B. Restaurant and time?"

"I've got a bit of paper here somewhere."

* * *

"So, Natasha. Fancy meeting up in two weeks for a meal?"

"Well, I don't know if I'll have a mission-"

"Nonsense, if you have to bail, I won't mind but just try? Please?"

"Fine."

"Brilliant."

"Where is this place Pepper?"

"Right, yes."

* * *

"Two weeks?"

"That's right. You seem confused."

"I never get this much warning. Nat coming?"

"No, you and me. Which is why I'm giving you warning because you need to be respectable."

"How respectable?"

"Suit and tie. Black shoes."

"This is for not doing that paperwork, isn't it."

"No, but go and do the paperwork or I'll make sure you have to wear a suit to work every day for the next month."

"Fine."

* * *

"This is a first. I really didn't think I'd be free, there's been so much going on recently."

"How much of it was Tony's fault?"

"Not too much. I ended up in Harlem and then there were aliens, hot ones, but aliens and they found Captain America."

"Wow."

"It seems to have calmed down for a bit though. Which is nice."

"I'll bet. Come and take a seat."

"Is that Phil?"

"No."

"It is, isn't it."

"No."

"Pepper, what did you and Coulson do?"

"Nothing. Look, table."

"I'm a spy, don't try and lie. You and Coulson planned something."

"Really. Hello Phil."

"Hello Natasha, fancy seeing you here."

"What did you and Pepper plan? Because that table only seats two."

"Phil, help, she's onto us."

"Oh look, is that Audrey? I'll see you later Natasha. Sit on the chair."

"We're not at work Phil."

"Er, SHIELD's paying for your date, so you sort of are."

"Date?"

"She hadn't got to that bit yet Phil."

"Sorry Pepper. Natasha sit."

"Date?"

"Nat?"

"Clint?"

"Phil, what's going on? Why's Nat here? I thought you said she wasn't coming on this mission?"

"What mission?" Both of them turned to look at Phil and Pepper. "What did you two do?"

"Just a second Audrey. You two are going to have a little heart to heart. Clint, you won't die. Natasha, you're allowed to be a child. And if you two try to leave, I'm sitting by the door. Right. You two sit."

"I'll see you later Natasha. Sorry. But it had to be done."

Phil and Pepper both headed off.

"So, are we paying for this or is SHIELD?"

"I think SHIELD's paying."

"Want to blow the budget?"

"Do you ever not think about food?"

"Nope. But Nat, we don't have to pay for it."

"Well, I'm out of here."

"Oh please stay. We're friends, aren't we Nat? You would normally stay."

"Normally we'd use the first opportunity to leave and you'd cook something."

"Oh, I wonder if the Chinese place down the road will accept SHIELD's credit card. Fancy take away?"

"That sounds better than being watched by Coulson."

"We're not being watched by Coulson, he's with his girlfriend."

"Take away it is. Who's first out the window, you or me?"

"You. You're wearing a dress."

* * *

"Oh we are so dead."

"No, it'll be fine. We actually saved them money. We're eating cheap Chinese food instead of posh restaurant food."

"You bought like twenty other people food as well."

"They looked hungry. Phil won't mind. It's still not as expensive as restaurant food. Also, I don't have to put shoes on because we're home."

"This is your house. And it probably adds up to more than restaurant food."

"Well, I'm home then."

"What did Phil mean, you wouldn't die?"

"Oh, er, nothing. What did he mean you're allowed to be a child?"

"I don't know."

"Right." They drifted into silence. "He said date too."

"Yeah."

"Nat?"

"Clint."

"Would you like this to be your home?"

"You're asking me to move in with you?"

"I have a spare room and it would stop me needing to appear at your front door to make sure you eat."

"I'm perfectly capable of eating. You just like cooking."

"I more do it because I like seeing you." Clint paled. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"I take it back. I take it all back. It never happened."

"That's a shame."

"A shame? Wait what?"

"It's a shame."

"I shame I said it? Did I spoil our friendship? Because that's far more important to me."

"I think you've completely wrecked our friendship Clint."

"I'm sorry Nat, I didn't mean to. I'll just go and jump in a box of arrows."

"I didn't finish you idiot."

"See, now you're calling me idiot. I've ruined everything."

"Clint, listen. I told Pepper something. Her and Phil were scheming. They called it a date for both of us. And what is it about children?"

"Oh. Really?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really actually truly?"

"And sometimes I do wonder why."

"Wow. Why?"

"Goodness knows."

"I know. You have beautiful eyes."

"You have the most adorable ears."

"You have the most secret sweetest personality."

"You're so kind to everyone. In secret."

"You're incredibly stubborn."

"You're incredibly brave."

"Nat?"

"Yes Clint?"

"I would very much like to kiss you now. Would that be all right?"

"Only if I can kiss you back."

"I think that might be required."

* * *

"You two snuck out then. Clint, I want that card back. And Director Fury wants to see you."

"Just me?"

"Just you. I think it might be to do with why there are suddenly requests for SHIELD to pay for twenty two Chinese meals. Also paperwork."

"Damn. See you later Nat. Unless I die."

"Please don't."

Clint left and Natasha turned back to Phil.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So, how's being a child?"

"You know?"

"In the words of the youth of today, well duh. It's obvious how much you two like each other, everyone at SHIELD can see that. And you walked in this morning holding hands."

"You saw?"

"No, Maria did. I'll inform Pepper of our success."

"I hate you."

"No you don't. As if you'd ever be able to admit it on your own."

"We did actually."

"With a push. So what did Clint say before he thought?"

* * *

"Success Pepper."

"Brilliant. I guess now we wait to see where it goes."

"Hopefully fairly well. Clint's just been reassigned to guard- Actually, I can't tell you that. Sorry. But he's been reassigned. Something to do with 'wasting SHIELD resources and not filling in his paperwork for the past few months'. But the length of time they've known each other, I've got hopes."

"Keep me posted."

* * *

Pepper turned to see Tony standing behind her.

"What now Tony?"

"There's two assassins downstairs."

"And there's a man that turns green in your lab. Next you'll be telling me there's an alien on the roof."

"No, Thor went home."

"Oh Tony, what did you get yourself into?"

"No idea. But I swear I saw them canoodling."

"Where did you learn canoodling? Have you been talking to Steve again?"

"A little. He knows some stuff that even I don't want to know about my father. Seriously. He had fondue with Peggy Carter."

"You know that's bread and cheese?"

"Yeah. But he didn't. And now I think Hawkeye and Black Widow are Steve-fonduing downstairs."

"Tony, they're allowed to have a relationship."

"But it's weird."

"Why's it weird?"

"Because she's a hard outer shell of steel and really violent."

"Natasha's lovely."

"You stayed in touch with her."

"I'm allowed to have friends."

"You have an agent and a super spy assassin? Pep, you need a new choice in friends. You know about him then?"

"Clint? Of course. I'll be down in a second."

"Wait, you know about those two and you didn't tell me? Pepper?" Tony followed her down the stairs.

"Natasha. Good to see you."

"And you Pepper. You briefly met Clint."

"Pleasure to meet you properly Ms Potts."

"It's just Pepper. Likewise Agent Barton."

"Just Clint."

"So what are you two doing here? What did Tony do this time?"

"Why do you assume I did something?"

"Because you don't stop doing things. You flew into space."

"You didn't answer your phone."

"You're like an old married couple," Natasha said. "No Pepper, we came to thank you properly. Didn't have time before with all the aliens and New York and goodness knows what."

"You're welcome. But it was just as much Phil."

"We thanked him as well."

"Why do you and Agent need thanking?" Tony asked.

"She set us up," Clint explained. "And I didn't die, which is good, because I though Nat was going to kill me if I admitted I liked her."

"What? Pepper, you did what?"

"It's a long story Tony. Why don't the two of you stay for dinner?"

"We'd love to," Natasha said. "But we don't want to intrude."

"Nonsense, we've already got Bruce here, you won't be intruding. How about Chinese food?"

"Phil told you everything."

"He did."

"Well, I'm not passing up food," Clint said. "It would be wonderful to join you. We can get to know each other better. Shame we didn't meet before."

"It is."

"I still have no idea what's going on. Pepper, is your best friend an assassin?"

"Your lab partner's the Hulk."

"But most of the time he's Bruce. She's always an assassin. And she's scary. Sorry Widow. But you're scary."

"I'd argue you with you Stark, but she is. Really scary. Absolutely terrifying. Scarier than an entire armies. I'm surprised Loki didn't just give up and run when Nat showed up. She's scarier than- Love you Nat." Clint added as she clipped him lightly round the ear.

"This way," Pepper said. "I'll find the menu for the Chinese place down the road."


End file.
